Spring is the season where we “clean house”, literally and figuratively. In the figurative sense, one area of annual sprucing up is physical health. I knew this to be true while I worked for several years as a sales associate at a sporting goods store in my hometown of New Orleans, LA because of our robust traffic and sales, rivaling only the Christmas holidays.
We generated a significant portion of revenue from shoe sales. On a bustling Saturday afternoon, I met a customer looking to buy shoes for running and walking. She proudly declared to me she was on track to meet her goal of “getting back into a size six” by the summer season, having gone down several dress sizes already.
As she told me a bit of her story, I admired her grit and tenacity. I suggested cross-training shoes, as they’re good for a variety of activities. Furthermore, they offer a lot of cushioning in the heel and forefoot and give great stability for side-to-side movement.
Being the Nike buff I was then, I recommended their best cross-trainer after she told me money was no object, music to a salesperson’s ears. I measured her feet to determine the proper size, but she insisted she wore one size under.
I went to our stock room — which I meticulously maintained by shoe type, size, and SKU number — hoping she’d change her mind for the correct size and yet following the retail industry’s mantra, “the customer is always right”.
She refused to admit the shoes were too small and ask for a bigger size. It was difficult for me to watch her grimace and violently wrestle her feet into them. A contortionist would’ve have been proud.
When she stood up to walk around to “break in the shoe”, she was in obvious pain, although smiling. “What do you think?” she asked me. “Ma’am, are you sure you’re comfortable?” I asked in a diplomatic tone, and I strongly suggested she buy the next size for a better fit. Nevertheless, she felt it was “perfect.” I knew this would be a potential return, and it was in a matter of days, which was why I made my manager aware of the transaction.
During my customer’s “Battle at Cross Trainer Hill” — as I call it to this day — she wielded her weapon of choice in her quest for victory, a shoehorn. A shoehorn can be viewed in two ways. The first is as it was for my store’s determined patron: a physical object with a short handle that flares into a longer spoon-like head meant to be held against the inside back of a snug-fitting shoe so that a person can slide the heel easily along its basin to the inner sole. The second is a course of action, a to force or compress into an insufficient space or period of time.
For the sake of this post, I’ll focus on the second and in the arena of relationships. How many of us have tried to shoehorn or force ourselves to become something other than who we are to fit another person’s expectations to win their affection?
A favorite example of this comes from the 1988 film “Coming to America”. The main character, Prince Akeem — on the eve of his paternally arranged marriage — says to his bride-to-be, “I would like to know about you. What do you like to do?” She replied, “Whatever you like!”
It would be the answer to any question he posed to her about personal taste. Realizing that women in the movie’s fictional country of Zamunda are trained to please him, he decides to go to America to find his mate.
Like Prince Akeem, I know who I am. And who am I? I, too, am a son of royalty, the Kings of kings – the Lord God Almighty. I’m His unique creation. I take personally what David writes in Psalms 139:13-14, “…You created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”
To describe my personality, I’m cerebral, analytical, and detail-oriented. I’m an ambivert, a combination of someone who enjoys social interaction (extrovert) and is introspective and relishes spending time alone (introvert). I can be serious in one moment and playful in the next.
Moreover, I love to play and watch sports. I’m a technology, science fiction, and superhero connoisseur. I have a huge passion for literature, poetry, singing, and writing. I’m more in touch with my emotions than the average male. Generally, men have been taught that stoicism and masculinity are synonymous when, in fact, medical science proves it’s harmful to keep emotions pent up within. I enjoy a good conversation. Growing up primarily with a single mother and sisters taught me the value of listening and communication.
So, I’m comfortable in my skin. As a single man, I’d love to be married in the future, but I won’t shoehorn my personality to fit with a woman, regardless of my attraction to her. Conversely, I want a woman who won’t shoehorn her personality to fit me, because it’ll cause us both pain later. Then, we’ll turn into the couple who smiles — “Hallelujah! God is good all the time!” — and is dying inside. I want to be with a woman who’ll be herself, allow me to be myself, and we can complement each other.
There are many “shoes” out there to meet. If you find someone that appears to have potential for a lifelong sprint, get to know them, ask God for guidance, and then — to quote the immortal words — “if the shoe fits, wear it.”
Sources:
Scene: “Whatever You Like” — “Coming to America” film
Scripture: Psalms 139:13-14 (New International Version)
Research Article: “How Stoicism could lie at the root of men’s health issues” by Hussain Ather – published March 7, 2022
